You want a piece of my mind today? You can have it all. I don't want it.
I realize Shoestring Amy is a new blog, a place where I'm supposed to share sunshine-y glitter rainbows and unicorn-dream-type stories to entice you to stay. I just don't have that today.
Today, my brain is numb- A fleshy mass strung together with crushed dreams and hope, pain, memories, the what-if's, and un-anticipated horror filled hours to come, frozen in a state of unknowing. My body glides along through the daily motions- I'm able to function, I'm able to smile, I'm able to complete tasks.... Yet, I'm numb. I feel as if I'm stuck in a dream, not able to wake.
I'm here, today, in 2016. At the same time, I'm stuck in back in a time of innocence- A time where there was no pain, no arguing; when the world was good. I'm suspended in a place where I was young and happy, full of dreams and smiles, a heart that was fresh and remained untouched- fresh and new. I sit, frozen, in a dense fog of memories, unable to find my way out.
Today, I found out my dad has Leukemia.
This is like the movie scene where you see the writer sitting in front their computer screen, fingers on the keys- one word visible to their eye- sitting...watching as the curser flashes- one, two, three, one, two, three- unable to continue.
Leukemia. (curser flashing..one, two, three. One, two, three.) Leukemia (curser flashing... one, two, three. One, two, three.)
You know what ol' Webster forgot to include? How this simple formation of letters has to ability to completely destroy a person.
So, today, you can take a piece of my mind- take all of it. I won't be using it.
Tomorrow, may be different. For today, I just want it to go away.
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Shoestring Amy is a free-spirited momma. With a family of five comes an active lifestyle full of energy. Amy strives for a lifetime of fun, laughter, and memories. Rather than smothering in debt, working for "things," and walking the same ol' line of misery created by a dead end job, she creates much larger goals. CONTINUE READING....
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