Piece of My Mind Monday:
I don't mean glancing in the mirror to see your outer reflection. I mean reflecting on what's inside.
Lately, I've been doing a lot of soul searching- what do I want in life, my purpose, my successes, my self worth.... am I doing a good job at being a mom/wife? Am I happy? Are those around me happy? Am I making anyone happy?
I'm asking myself a lot of questions. And in this I'm figuring out who I am, where I'm going, and why/if I want to be there.
What do you want in life?
If I could pick any moment in time to set my in-real-life- DVR to record, so that I can go back to at any moment in time, it would be in a simple moment. A moment that I can vividly repeat in my mind and look forward to often. On a gentle Spring day, riding passenger side, windows down, I sling my arm out an open window and allow my fingers to glide up and down the waves of cool breeze. It's in the split second I'm able to close my eyes, lay my head back and be in absolute peace and nirvana. It's something about the precise balance of cool and warm, the wind tantalizing each and every nerve, the sense of absolute calm, slicing through suspended time.
You want a piece of my mind today? You can have it all. I don't want it.
I realize Shoestring Amy is a new blog, a place where I'm supposed to share sunshine-y glitter rainbows and unicorn-dream-type stories to entice you to stay. I just don't have that today.
Today, my brain is numb- A fleshy mass strung together with crushed dreams and hope, pain, memories, the what-if's, and un-anticipated horror filled hours to come, frozen in a state of unknowing. My body glides along through the daily motions- I'm able to function, I'm able to smile, I'm able to complete tasks.... Yet, I'm numb. I feel as if I'm stuck in a dream, not able to wake.
I'm here, today, in 2016. At the same time, I'm stuck in back in a time of innocence- A time where there was no pain, no arguing; when the world was good. I'm suspended in a place where I was young and happy, full of dreams and smiles, a heart that was fresh and remained untouched- fresh and new. I sit, frozen, in a dense fog of memories, unable to find my way out.
Today, I found out my dad has Leukemia.
This is like the movie scene where you see the writer sitting in front their computer screen, fingers on the keys- one word visible to their eye- sitting...watching as the curser flashes- one, two, three, one, two, three- unable to continue.
Leukemia. (curser flashing..one, two, three. One, two, three.) Leukemia (curser flashing... one, two, three. One, two, three.)
Today, I went on about my usual week day routine- nothing too special. I start the day with coffee- or I wouldn't survive. I'm a stay-at-home mom, so I do all the typical getting kids off to school, cleaning up, blogging, squeeze in some personal time, etc., etc. My day doesn't really start until early after noon when I go and pick up the kids from school. Today, I sat down- after my "chores," I guess you could call them- and decided to curl my hair.I put on one of my new thrift-store tops- totally cute little light cotton, Spring colored, cropped sleeve shirt. I spent a little extra time de-frizzing my hair today.
(This is the moment where you would insert, "Duh, you should have seen this coming.")
Welcome to Piece of My Mind Monday where... I think it's pretty explanatory. Today, I want to encourage you to be yourself. Today, with all the overly-opinionated-social media it's hard to be confident in you. Every where you look we are being directed into conforming one way or another. Look within yourself and find you. Don't forget who you are, not who they want you to be.
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Shoestring Amy is a free-spirited momma. With a family of five comes an active lifestyle full of energy. Amy strives for a lifetime of fun, laughter, and memories. Rather than smothering in debt, working for "things," and walking the same ol' line of misery created by a dead end job, she creates much larger goals. CONTINUE READING....
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